Several months ago a colleague from work decided to leave Austin and move home. Her departure was actually the impetus for this series on transitions.
Leaving a job is often a gut wrenching experience, while other times it is a very positive experience. The truth is that it can be either, but it should be something we prepare for before we actually leave our jobs. And during the time of departure we can set the stage for future successes.
Understand, I don’t speak about this from the perspective of someone who has changed jobs frequently. I am one of those strange people who sees a job as an expression of a calling, and staying put has been my habit.
I have led teams where we saw people come and go frequently (by virtue of short term job assignments of 2 months to 2 years). And I one thing I have observed is that there are times when people don’t leave well, while there are other times when people leave their position in a company exceptionally well.
The Good Stuff
My contention is that leaving well positions you to be more likely to succeed in your next job. Here’s why:
- We usually take habits with us — If we had habits that made our work challenging at the old job, we frequently take them with us, usually unconsciously. If we leave on a positive note, rather than a negative one, we have the potential to take the good habits with us, and leave the old ones behind.
- We are more than the sum total of our experiences -- While our experiences certainly impact us, and can, over time, even shape us, the evidence is fairly clear that we are more than just a bundle of emotions responding to outside stimuli. We, as humans, have amazing capacity for clear and even critical thinking.
- We are not cut off from relationships in the same way we once were – I realize this is a double edged sword. The connected world we are a part of makes it possible to maintain connections to people across the globe, especially the people we worked with. Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, not to mention POEM (Plain Old Email — yes, I just made that up). If we leave well, we can continue to draw on those relationships for future career related matters (it’s called networking).
The Not So Good Stuff
When we transition out of a position at a company on less than ideal terms, we may be setting the stage for future failures on our part.
- At some point we may need references – We may find ourselves looking for a new position at some point and need positive references. If we leave a job on a poor note we can pretty much expect nothing in terms of glowing reviews. I recall many years ago having spent a great deal of time coaching a new recruit in preparation for what I thought would be a successful tenure at a position. I was shocked 5 weeks in when the wheels fell off that cart! I was even more shocked when they dared to ask me for a good reference for their next job. I couldn’t honestly give a positive reference.
- Habits can be hard to change – Remember me mentioning habits up the page? Over time if we see behaviors in multiple jobs coming out repeatedly, it may be our own habits that persist. It will take significant effort to get past them, but, the good news is, they don’t have to keep us bound up. We can “recreate” ourselves, at least as far as work goes (and in some ways even as people).
- Negativity breeds negativity – We live in a world where far too many people act rudely or harshly with others as a simple matter of course. I don’t believe that makes the world a better place. Being disagreeable, being rude, being belligerent doesn’t make us the kind of person who will succeed in life and our careers in 99.999% of people (Steve Jobs perhaps being the exception!)
Well, this has gone on longer than I thought it would. I am sure I have not satisfied everyone with this. My purpose was simply to say that it is possible to transition out of one job and into another without lobbing grenades, and in such a way as to be positioned for success.
What about you? Have you left a job well? Have you seen others who have done so? What can be learned from leaving a company on good terms? Why not leave a comment?
{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }
My wife was recently offered a new job and she has a really tough time accepting new jobs and leaving old ones. It’s remarkable difficult for her.
With that said, I’ve had to coach her on how she’d have to leave her current position and I’ve also coached her on how she could gently say “no” to the new opportunity.
I think it’s important to build people up before you lay down the hammer – that’s how you get the whole gentle part. Sometimes it’s important to leave on good terms, other times you just can’t help the situation.
I’ve left multiple companies: one was on really bad terms. I disliked my manager A LOT and I hated my job…it felt great to walk in there to tell him I quit.
My last job I left two years ago was a bit different: I left to pursue a job in a totally different industry and I explained to them that it was something I wanted to pursue. We left on great terms and I even go back to visit with them from time to time.
WorkSaveLive recently posted..Carnivals, Mentions, and Weekend Reading #3
Thanks for sharing. I think what many people miss is the potential for just the kind of relationship you have with your last job. We just don’t know how that type of “parting” can be advantageous to us as we go forward.
I also think that people who don’t leave on good terms tend to carry a lot of baggage with them. That usually manifests itself as a bad attitude and general dislike for the work or employer no matter what the new employer is like. If you can’t deal with the issue that made you leave your last job and at least come to terms with them, then you may be poisoning your next position as well.
Joe Morgan recently posted..Is Pet Insurance Worth The Cost?
I think you are right Joe. We set the stage for future failures all to easily when we don’t leave well.
I’ve left three jobs in my day that were not time-limited gigs like 3 month internships or something (all bartending in college or grad school). One I left to go to Los Angeles for a set amount of time. That went well – I gave plenty of notice and had worked for them for 4 years, so they were supportive. I left Los Angeles with only a few days’ notice because I saw the company fire people who gave notice on the spot because they thought they would steal. When I gave notice they told me I should have given more notice because I “was different” and they would have trusted me… who knows. But it ended fine and they understood WHY I did it that way. Then I went back to the first place and finished up until grad school was over.
Most important to me successfully leaving companies was to be an excellent employee while there and communicate what and why I was leaving. Even if you mess up something like I did with short notice in LA (still not sure I would have been treated differently…) the long-term effect of being a good, trustworthy employee will last, IMO.
Nick recently posted..4 tips for raising financially-responsible kids
Nick, I think you hit the nail on the head. When we leave “poorly” rather than “well” we are the ones who ultimately suffer. Thanks for sharing!
Thad recently posted..Transitions | Leaving a Job